he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
