Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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