piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
