So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
