I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
where am i from again
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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