god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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