I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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