You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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