it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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