every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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