Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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