Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
