How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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