the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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