Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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