Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
