What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
