Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
