do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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