I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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