u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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