The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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