last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
