Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
