You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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