you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i think i have two assholes
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
