i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
