i already hear my dad disowning me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
