I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
