you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
