i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
