Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
