Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
