The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
how drunk are you?
Several
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
