If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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