You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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