Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
