I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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