thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
