Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
