Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
