Umm I'm too high to move.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
