we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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