We need to start having sex underwater more often.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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