dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Such a big mess for such a small penis
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
