wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
