How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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