I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
