Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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