All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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