All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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